This week what caught my eye on the web wasn’t what life after the suburbs can be - but rather some of the reasons for ditching it.
Have you sat back and thought about our culture lately?
Start ‘Em Young
We start young. Kindergarten. Forget play. Forget outdoor time. Forget about getting physical skills like balance, coordination and strength. Because ‘This really isn’t kindergarten anymore’ - it’s the first step in a life designed around performance, productivity and accumulation.
Author Valerie Strauss describes what happens to our young children in this performance-focused kindergarten:
They can think they are a failure even before they begin their school careers.Valerie Strass @thewashingtonpost.com
Keep ‘Em Buying
We continue through school, and on into a life that becomes all about gathering possessions.
That LA Times article quotes professional organizer Regina Lark:
The average U.S. household has 300,000 things, from paper clips to ironing boards. U.S. children make up 3.7% of children on the planet but have 47% of all toys and children’s books.Regina Lark via the latimes.com
Think about that for a moment. I know - TV shows like Hoarders have been around awhile but really?
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(Disclosure - I often half-joke that my next business will be garage organization. One episode of Hoarders was enough to keep me out of the rest of the house.)
Don’t Take Vacations
We’re so focused on performance and consuming that we don’t even slow down to take vacations. It takes the Travel Industry to create a project to encourage us to take vacations (not that they might have a vested interest or anything..but still):
The average American worker leaves three vacation days unused every year. That’s three full days that workers have earned but choose to refund to their employers.ProjectTimeOff.com
So in addition to the ridiculous “Bosses Day” we’re also gifting back several hundred dollars to our employer just for the privilege of working there?
Till It Falls Apart
Busy busy busy…work work work work…spend spend spend.
The cracks in the seams become visible. It all has to fall apart. It’s just a matter of who and when. Who will be the proverbial canary in the coal mine, first to feel the effects?
How about working moms?
This recent study of working moms by Care.com found:
- They work 37 hours per week then spend 80 additional hours per week on chores, childcare, and home responsibilities.
- 35 percent feel like they’re always falling behind.
- One in four cry by themselves at least once a week.
- A third fight with their partner and kids.
- 11 percent say they’re afraid they’re not making lasting connections with their children.
- 52 percent are afraid they’re missing out on being present in their family’s everyday lives.
And their advice? Ask for help from family and friends (because, of course, they aren’t stressed for the same reasons) but also:
Consider Hiring Help. Extra hands make a huge difference.Care.com
So the way out of a lifestyle of aquistition and consumption is to…add employees?
More interesting was the missing advice. Downsize. Simplify. Reduce. Buy a smaller house. Own fewer clothes. Become a one-income family.
Because that would be un’Merican.
And We Rethink
We don’t have to live this way. Sam Lustgarten of Frugaling.org writes:
We are simply temporary custodians — holders — of physical objects that we lug around. We fill containers, storage warehouses, and entire homes with stuff. We bear witness to various forms of mass, but all fade — like us. Even the most prized possessions will transfer to someone else or perish. No matter how much home and life insurance we take out, we will eventually pass away.Sam @Frugaling.org
He goes on to advise switching to a renter’s mentality:
There’s more to life than amassing more than thy neighbor. Forego the mortgages, down payments, and constant maintenance. Choose a life that honors and recognizes everyone. When we rent this life, we recognize that we are just maintaining it for future generations.Sam @Frugaling.org
Get to or Have to?
Tomorrow is the start of a new work week.
Do you get to or do you have to?
Do you get to go work on something you love, or do you have to go work to pay the bills to pay for stuff you don’t need?
What could life look like instead?