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One of life's problems is flies. House flies, fruit flies, black flies, horse flies, flesh flies (yes that is a thing. They're called that because, according to Wikipedia, they drop their kids off at Open Mammal Wound Boarding School for Young Maggots. Otherwise known as the OMWBSYM. Pronounced om-wa-bus-im.).
They are nasty and vile creatures and I wouldn't mind if they died. (*whispers* "Especially if the bats died with them." *twists fingers evilly* MWAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!! *clears throat* sorry about that.
The Five Simple Steps to Killing Flies.
- Get in your car.
- Drive to the nearest Harbor Freight, Walmart, Home Depot, or Lowes hardware store (Hardware stores sell some of the strangest things. I remember this one time, - I'll stop.) - or - you could just go shop online.
- Purchase one or more of the following: rolls of fly tape, plug in bug zapper, bug-a-salt, and/or a hand held bug zapper(s).
- Drive home. (Don't even worry about paying for it/them. The security and employees will understand. Just grab your stuff and dash for it. I promise they will understand.) Editors Disclaimer: She's being funny here. Ditching Suburbia does not support or advocate theft in any way! She also doesn't.
- For those of you who just bought fly tape: Hang the fly tape up somewhere.
- For those of you who only bought a bug zapper: Click the button to turn it on. Laugh evilly. Kill every bug in your sight.
- For you people who didn't buy anything: Get out a squirt bottle. Find a bottle of white vinegar. Mix vinegar and water in the bottle. Wreck havoc on those poor flies lives.
And now to conclude my post, a haiku on flies.